| April 15th is the time of the year when Americans | | | | I wish one year Bob would call me. It seems he |
| can communicate with their government. I cannot | | | | has overlooked many legitimate deductions every |
| testify for anyone else, but I look forward to this | | | | year. I would like to submit some |
| marvelous opportunity and I am careful not to | | | | recommendations to be considered for next year. |
| waste it. | | | | First, I am not too happy with this April 15th |
| This year, for example, so much has happened to | | | | deadline. I feel it is much too restrictive and rigid. |
| me since last year it took 15 single-spaced typed | | | | What is so special about April 15 that our |
| pages to include everything. | | | | government should have such an apprehension |
| However, to be perfectly honest (and who's | | | | about me missing this deadline? What is wrong |
| perfect), I am a little disappointed. All the years I | | | | with June 15? Or, September 22, for that matter? |
| have included a personal letter in with my tax | | | | I believe the IRS should be more understanding |
| returns, I have yet to get a personal letter in | | | | and practice a nonjudgmental attitude. After all, |
| return. | | | | this is a new millennium calling for a new attitude |
| I'm beginning to think this is a one-way relationship | | | | on this whole business of taxes. They ought to |
| and it wouldn't take much for me to quit this | | | | trust me to send in my taxes whenever I'm |
| correspondence entirely. Then what would my | | | | ready, or remember. |
| government think? How would they know what | | | | There are some deductions I have never seen on |
| I've been up to all year long? | | | | the forms I have filled out and I have always |
| I am not one to complain, but filling out my | | | | wondered why. Let me list some: |
| income tax return seems to be getting more | | | | Grandchildren have never been listed as a |
| complicated each year. When I familiarize myself | | | | legitimate deduction. Does the IRS know just how |
| with the rules for one year, someone changes | | | | expensive grandchildren are? My jellybean budget |
| them the next year. | | | | alone could finance a small third world country and |
| What could not be deducted last year can be this | | | | I only have three grandchildren. |
| year; and what was not deductible last year I | | | | Pets have never been included as deductions. |
| must pay twice. Why can't someone in the | | | | Pets have a marvelous role in enhancing our lives |
| government make up my mind and quit all this | | | | and giving us a good excuse to get out of the |
| unnecessary fluctuation? | | | | house and walk around the block. |
| On April 16, each year, our government | | | | Pet food is expensive, as any pet owner knows, |
| immediately destroys the tax books to keep | | | | not to mention those exorbitant veterinary bills. |
| them from falling into the hands of a foreign | | | | (Does my doghouse qualify as a home office? I |
| power. By "foreign," I mean Canada. | | | | spend a lot of time there so it should.) |
| Heaven help us if our neighbor north of the | | | | Vacation is another overlooked item. Does |
| border ever got their hands on this information. | | | | the IRS think I am taking a vacation just for my |
| Canadians are not usually known for their joviality, | | | | health? Oh, yea. I am. Well, my health is important. |
| but once they see these books, the entire | | | | Every dollar I spend on vacation should be |
| country would break out into uncontrollable | | | | deducted from my income and not be taxable, |
| laughter. Who knows what this would do to the | | | | which would take a lot of stress off my next |
| delicate relationship now existing between the two | | | | vacation. |
| countries. | | | | Presents don't tell me Christmas presents are |
| Because of this important precaution, we need | | | | not authentic tax-deductible considerations. If it |
| new tax laws each year. | | | | were not for me buying all those Christmas |
| Right after the New Year's Eve party, someone | | | | presents the general economy of our country |
| in the Internal Revenue office asks his assistant | | | | would go into a slump. Buying Christmas presents |
| to "bring me those tax books." When informed | | | | is the one thing I can do for my country and I |
| there are no books, this same person (who shall | | | | should expect some compensation. |
| remain nameless for obvious reasons) says to his | | | | These are just a few suggestions I would make if |
| assistant, "Bob, write me a new tax law book for | | | | left up to me. |
| this year and have it on my desk by 5 o'clock." | | | | There is no way I could get away with writing |
| This sets the wheels of government to whirling | | | | my own ticket for my personal income tax |
| and by golly, by 5 o'clock that new tax law book | | | | return. The government has set up rules and |
| is on the desk. The reason the tax laws differ | | | | regulations to guide everyone. |
| from one year to the next is the assistant | | | | Some people think they can write their own |
| responsible for this is fired every year and a new | | | | ticket when it comes to God, forgetting God has |
| one hired. | | | | established rules and regulations that apply to |
| The only requirement for the assistant is that his | | | | everyone. |
| name must be "Bob." | | | | |